


magnets

by wshxn



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Eventual Romance, Kim Jongin | Kai & Oh Sehun are Best Friends, Light Angst, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2020-12-29 00:30:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21145766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wshxn/pseuds/wshxn
Summary: it is an odd feeling, the knot in sehun’s stomach, as baekhyun grazes a palm down his arm in the heat of summer.





	magnets

**Author's Note:**

> prompt # 38: "non-au - baekhyun and sehun have to do a sexy photoshoot together the day after one of them awkwardly confessed his feelings for the other. the one who was confessed to was so shocked he didn't respond right away and the one who confessed took that as a rejection and left before getting a proper answer. they haven't properly spoken since."

it is an odd feeling, the knot in sehun’s stomach, as baekhyun grazes a palm down his arm in the heat of summer.

it is sometimes fleeting,  _ momentary _ . but in particular moments like this, or when baekhyun catches sehun’s gaze and smiles like a million stars are caught in his eyes, the feeling grows bigger, almost magnanimously, and sehun forgets how to breathe — forgets that fans have the sharpest eyes and that at any given time, this unexplainable pressure in his chest will become for all the world to see.

it lingered for weeks, months, until it becomes so very clear to him one day in october, as he holds his phone between his shaking hands while browsing through their footage together from that one particular photoshoot, that he may actually be  _ in love _ with his hyung —that the unshakable feeling of longing is there to stay.

sehun is drowning and finds no escape, and for once, he embraces the point of no return.

‘there is absolutely  _ nothing _ wrong with it, sehun,’ junmyeon reassures him over seven bottles of soju one evening, and sehun feels the sudden urge to cry or laugh, or both, and he is frightened for a future that could break him. ‘baekhyun is, well, a  _ darling. _ and hey, so is chanyeol.’

beside sehun, jongin sulks through his half-empty bottle of beer as if to agree, missing the way junmyeon had averted his gaze towards him while he made the latter comment. it is almost comedic how sehun and jongin sigh at the same time, if not for the way their lips tug down forlornly. 

‘you lads are hopeless,’ junmyeon rolls his eyes playfully, thinking it cute and childlike and almost pathetic, before sending them off to bed. 

  
  
  


(baekhyun’s fingers come to a halt on sehun’s wrist as if to test him, his eyes becoming a darker shade of chocolate under the fluorescent lights as it holds sehun’s gaze captive. sehun’s pulse quickens to the sound of camera shutters, to the words unspoken, and to every stuttered breath kissing his cheek.

_ keep going _ , the director sternly instructs, just as baekhyun’s lips momentarily graze along sehun’s jaw with masked longing. it was all too much too soon, and sehun is only left aching for more.)

  
  
  
  
  
  


‘you really like him, don’t you?’

there really is not much sehun can hide from jongin, but the question still catches him off-guard. he agrees, burying himself further into his pillow as his face burns. ‘he’s just so —he’s so—’

‘lovely?’ jongin supplies with a laugh, holding sehun’s hand under the sheets, comforting and warm. sehun groans and he wishes for his bed to swallow him whole. jongin turns to sehun, tucks a strand of his best friend’s hair behind his ear, and tells him not to be afraid. ‘things will work out just fine, sehun. you’ll see.’

‘do you believe then that you and chanyeol will be, too?’

jongin visibly stiffens, but the flush in his cheeks under the glow of the lamp gives so many things away. ‘i—-he—’

‘jongin,’ sehun tugs at his hand, pulling him closer like he is holding them both together in whatever unfamiliarity this is, through the uncontrollable likelihood of falling much deeper. ‘don’t be afraid.’

_ things will work out just fine. _

  
  
  
  
  


the winter air is harsh on sehun’s skin as he steps out onto the balcony with a cup of tea in hand. on his bed, jongin remains asleep through the biting cold, huddled beneath a pile of blankets and worn out pillows that smell of late-night talks and pining. 

he thinks his best friend looks endearing,  _ serene _ , with his lips parted in deep slumber, the december wind carding through his hair. _ i only wish you happiness _ , he silently prays, and with a sigh, steps back inside the room, feeling well-rested and loved on a sunday morning. 

he contemplates on going back to bed, but there is a soft knock from the door that startles him out of his indecision. junmyeon pokes his head in, laughing warmly at sehun’s startled expression. ‘come have breakfast, sehun.’

sehun nods, tucking the blanket tighter around jongin, and leaves.

  
  
  
  
  


days turn into weeks, eventually into months of careful glances and yearning touches held back by fear and hesitation, that even if baekhyun is within reach, sehun pulls away with the wind knocked out of him. 

baekhyun is every bit of sehun’s idea of beautiful.

it feels like a rebuke, really, when said person walks through sehun’s hotel room door with a blinding grin, hair tousled by his goofiness over the toys scattered about the stage from the concert hours prior. adrenaline runs through sehun’s veins, hyper-aware of baekhyun’s presence in such an enclosed space. 

‘h-how was your day?’ sehun struggles, like they haven’t been together since the crack of dawn. his hands began to tremble, more so when baekhyun laughs and stretches his arms over his head, and a tiny sliver of skin peaks from under his sweater. sehun gulps down his  _ wants _ . 

‘so-so,’ baekhyun sing-songs with a giggle, ever so coy and playful, collapsing on the bed as he yawned. ‘you willing to share the bed with me,  _ maknae _ ?’

suddenly exhausted, sehun chuckles weakly. his head is about to explode. ‘i don’t think i have much of a choice, hyung.’

‘then what’re you waiting for?’ baekhyun teases—typical, even if his eyes are already half-closed. he smells faintly of cinnamon and sehun’s impending regret. ‘c’mon, i’m beat. i wanna cuddle.’

‘no, i—’ sehun freezes, not quite understanding why tonight he feels bold enough to reject his hyung’s affections. perhaps it is because the very thought of being in the same room as baekhyun scares him the most, recalling how every captured smile in photograph renders him speechless. he abruptly stands, taking baekhyun by surprise, and makes his way to the door in haste. ‘i don’t think—i’m staying with jongin tonight—’

‘what?’ baekhyun is baffled. ’stay, please.’ he is defeated by the disappointment lacing his voice as he struggled to get on his feet. ‘wait, sehun—what’s going on, i don’t understand—’

the door latches to a close, and sehun allows himself to breathe, heart hammering against his chest as he lets himself fall deaf to baekhyun’s faint calls of his name.

he knocks frantically on the door of kyungsoo and jongin’s room, heaving a hurried explanation at the sob in his throat, but allows himself to be held until dawn, and kyungsoo has to appease a frantic baekhyun with reasons he himself is unconvinced of.

  
  
  
  
  


‘you sure you’re gonna be okay?’

sehun nods numbly. jongin holds sehun’s hand through the airport, completely oblivious to the wary glances baekhyun has been throwing his way while jongin forces sehun down in the seat beside him. he allows the younger man to rest his head on his shoulders, allows him to draw patterns on his thigh out of sheer helplessness as he fights the urge to sleep through the flight just to keep his best friend together.

at some point, chanyeol presses a juice box cold against his cheek, eyeing a sleeping sehun curled uncomfortably against jongin’s side. ‘is he gonna be alright?’

‘i hope so,’ jongin whispers, taking the juice box from chanyeol. he is almost unbothered by the shadow looming over him, leaning unconsciously into its warmth. in a brief act of bravery, jongin takes the taller man’s hand, as well—shy and hesitant, but hopeful, unaware that he could be putting chanyeol on the spot.

_ this could be it _ , he tells himself, and holds on in longing. ‘what about  _ us _ , hyung?’

‘jongin—’

‘i’m sorry,’ jongin immediately retracts, berating himself for having been selfish and impolite to put chanyeol in such a situation. ‘i’m sorry, hyung. this can wait.’

but jongin wishes he didn’t have to.

  
  
  
  
  


there are instances in between the frenzy of being an idol that jongin allows himself the luxury of stealing moments with chanyeol, whether it is to listen voluntarily to his many compositions at midnight, to watch cheesy rom-coms past their bedtime over greasy microwavable popcorn, or to merely throw him clandestine smiles as warm as the summer sun  _ just because _ .

jongin realizes one evening that he has fallen much deeper without warning as time inevitably passed by, albeit slowly, and he finds himself drowning further in the sound of chanyeol’s laughter with no intention of resurfacing.

the struggle becomes all too real and unbearable, that one stolen glance from chanyeol has jongin wanting to fling himself into space and never come back.

‘i want to tell him,’ he says on sehun’s shoulder, the rain pitter-pattering loud against his window. his hand is clasped tight around sehun’s as he strives to lead himself back to shore. ‘i have to, even if it breaks my heart.’

‘i’ll be here,’ sehun merely says through his hair, and he wordlessly swears he would be strong enough for both of them. ‘falling in love like this is  _ disastrous _ , jongin, but i’m hoping we’ll figure this out eventually.’

jongin ends up laughing through gritted teeth, a temporary relief, and sehun gives his hand a thoughtful squeeze. ‘yeah.’

  
  
  
  
  


jongin has read one too many books, but none of them ever taught him how to act in front of the object of his affection. 

chanyeol pats the space beside him on the couch, like he’s been waiting for jongin, and it is his smile that makes jongin lose his footing, landing on his knees, and he hisses at the pain eventually forgotten when he hears the first notes of chanyeol’s laughter bounce off the walls. a beautiful song only for jongin to hear. ‘it hurt, you ass.’

‘sorry,’ chanyeol wipes a stray tear at the corner of his eye, pulling jongin up with a hand. ‘you alright there, nini?’

‘oh,  _ now _ you ask.’

they both burst into peals of childlike laughter, landing unceremoniously among the cushions, clutching at their stomachs, slapping shoulders and playful shoves, and jongin  _ missed _ this more than he would like to admit.

when it dies down to quiet chuckles, all that is left is for jongin to hold his breath until the feeling of longing burns less in his lungs, and he keeps himself from staring at chanyeol a moment longer than necessary. he’s hardly paying attention to the sitcom, and there is a sudden urge to flee at the back of his mind because he isn’t sure how long he still has to endure the heartache of uncertainty and waiting for something,  _ anything _ . 

‘hyung,’ jongin starts, barely finding his voice, and he tries his very best to keep it steady. the tears in his eyes completely betray him. ‘hyung, i-i can’t do this anymore, i can’t keep waiting for you.’

chanyeol is visibly shaken by jongin’s words, at the sudden shift in the atmosphere, more so when jongin wipes his eyes with the sleeve of his favorite sweater and he hears the younger man sniffle through a muffled apology. ‘this is all my fault. you’re too good for me, hyung. i’m so sorry, it’s all my fault.’

it shouldn’t have to be this difficult, chanyeol thought, and regret begins to claw its way to a lump in his throat when jongin’s knees wobble as he hurriedly and forcibly keeps away from chanyeol, his sobs, although faint, echoing across the room. 

‘we’ve always done everything together, and i’ve always wanted that, i’ve wanted  _ you  _ for so long, but hyung i can’t do this anymore. i’m sorry.’

‘jongin—’  _ don’t go _ . the words die in chanyeol’s throat, and the need for them doesn’t seem to come as easily as writing a song. ‘listen,  _ please _ . i thought about you,  _ been thinking _ about you, about not having you. here.  _ everywhere _ . nowhere near me. and i just—i don’t even want to think about what my life would be like without you, jongin, so please—’

jongin is absolutely still, mouth agape and wondering. he’s longed to hear those words for as long as he can remember and here chanyeol was, breathless and devastatingly honest with his eyes holding hope—beautiful and anticipating and now, in a twist of fate,  _ jongin’s _ . 

jongin, with all his heart, silences him with a trembling finger on his lips, but he is smiling so hard and unabashedly as he finally kisses chanyeol true because this—the anguish, the yearning, the want, and the need—is all for his taking and for him to give. ‘i love you, too.’

chanyeol holds him just as close. 

  
  
  
  
  


jongin is glowing with words of promise branded on his skin, his mouth tilted into a smile as he whispers to chanyeol, and the change in chanyeol becomes apparent when sehun catches him press his mouth against jongin’s in a brief kiss, his fingers gentle against jongin’s jaw. 

the way jongin’s face flushes under chanyeol’s gaze reminds sehun of autumn sunsets, and his chest thrums with excitement, with joy, because his best friend deserves  _ this _ . 

_ i’m happy for you _ , sehun mouths when their eyes meet, and jongin bites his lips innocently, gaze soft as he responds with,  _ i hope i can be for you, too,  _ gesturing towards baekhyun with a tilt of his chin. sehun huffs childishly, flustered, and he catches jongin roll his eyes with a chuckle.

‘what’s gotten into jongin?’

sehun jumps in his seat at the voice, clutching at his chest in utter surprise. baekhyun’s eyes widen before laughing manically at sehun’s bewildered face. ‘y-your face!’

‘shut up, hyung,’ sehun pouts, grabbing baekhyun’s wrist in a stroke of bravery. baekhyun’s giggles come to a halt. ‘i need to talk to you. can we—?’

at baekhyun’s nod, sehun pulls him towards his room, shuffling from foot to foot anxiously as he closes the door. the clattering of pans outside is much too loud in the silence. ‘sehun…?’

‘hyung, i—’  _ now or never _ . ‘hyung, i’m sorry for being distant. for being a coward. for not being good enough. but i’m  _ so _ tired of running, of keeping you in the dark, and i just—’ sehun pauses, taking in all of baekhyun with everything of him. ‘ _ i love you _ . i’m in love with you. i’ve loved you this whole time, and it feels like i’ve been to hell and back because i’ve been trying to—but that had been selfish of me, and i’m sorry. but even if this doesn’t turn out well, i hope you’d remember that i stood here before you, unsure and terrified and with all of me, only wishing for you to let me love you, even from afar. that’s all i ask of you. i promise, _ i promise _ —’

then all at once, like tidal waves crashing along the shore, baekhyun throws his arms around sehun, grip tight and unrelenting as he sobs against sehun’s chest. ‘you idiot, you  _ fucking _ idiot.’

‘h-hyung?’

‘i wasn’t sure about all of this,’ baekhyun admits, pulling away to look him in the eye, fingers running quietly along sehun’s cheekbones. his eyes glisten, damp with cheer, and he wants sehun so much closer, but—‘i wasn’t sure about  _ you _ .’

‘please don’t push me away,’ sehun, despite his initial shock, leans in then, letting his lips brush against baekhyun’s again and again in the slightest of touches. ‘i’ve been here all along.’

and baekhyun surges forward, capturing lips just as eager and wanting and waiting, allowing himself to love and be loved in return at long last.  _ i’m never letting you go. _

and everything falls right into place.  
  
  
  
  
  


sehun wakes up to the sound of his door creaking open, a quiet step, and a low chuckle that could be passed as a whisper. junmyeon is smug when he sneaks a peek at the soft tuft of hair, the familiar curve of a body under the weight of sehun’s arm of an unbusy morning when the curtains have yet to be drawn and staying in bed is an option. 

sehun follows his gaze, tongue-tied, but no longer cautious because he has never been more sure of what his today will bring. he waves junmyeon away playfully with the same hand around baekhyun, and snuggles back into his lover’s side when he is sure his hyung had left, but not before grazing his lips over the smaller man’s forehead in silent greeting. baekhyun stirs, burrowing himself much closer to sehun with a content sigh.

things are more than just fine.

**Author's Note:**

> this for _you_, for better days ahead ☀


End file.
